This is a big weekend for me. I am doing something that I haven't done since I was 7 years old. I am attending a family reunion.
My family of origin does not exist. For all of my adult life, I have spent holidays alone or with friends who would invite me over to take part in their family traditions. These years have been a humbling experience for me. I used to feel so sorry for myself. The 'oh, I am so alone, why don't I have a family?' used to really come up for me. Months preceding the holidays, I would feel it beginning to come in. After Halloween, the Christmas commercials would begin and I would begin to spiral downwards.
Today, it is all so different. I finally have a family to love and be loved by. Something that I never thought would ever happen in my life. My boyfriend, Dwayne, of one and half years has an amazing family. His parents have embraced me completely as part of their family. Both of his parents, Mom and Dad, are exceptional, spiritual human beings. Their love for others and for their community is overwhelming at times. How could two people be so incredible, I ask most days. They are the family I have always dreamt of having. They have been married for 53 years, and are still going strong. And, as I mentioned, this weekend is the family reunion for Mom's side of the family. Family I have yet to meet.
One thing that brings me so much joy is that she has asked me not only to be there for the registration on Friday evening, but also to be her 'go to gal' for other things. I am fully committed to her and this wonderful three day reunion that is planned. I was even honored by being asked to write something on family reunions and what they represent. I remember telling her that this would be something that I would write not from experience but from what I would imagine and fantasize that family means. I have my ideas, but not direct experience.
As I mentioned, my last family reunion was at the age of 7, in Georgia. I remember very little of it. Other than there were some 'scary' people there. You see, I don't come from a 'well bred background', I come from the 'other side of the tracks' where what you do has no consequence and living a life of doing the next right thing is an anomaly. Yes, I have come a long way. Having foster parents at the age of 16 really spared me from a life of repeating what I grew up surrounded by. The Hell's Angels were our neighbors, we lived in a trailer park where my step father said we should be proud because we had the biggest lot in the park. My step father was uneducated, illiterate. And lived in anger and like my mother, victimization. It was not an environment conducive to positivity, and celebration of life and all good things. We did not expand ourselves in the least. It was, indeed, a very limited, very depressing environment.
Flash forward to today, I have so much to celebrate. This family reunion fills me with joy, excitement, gratitude, and such a sense of inclusion and connectedness. I can only imagine the people I will meet. The sounds of laughter echoing all around us. The honoring of those with us and those who have passed on. Yes, I feel I am home. In every sense of the word. Dwayne's family is worlds away from what I have ever known. I am anticipating the opportunity to create new and beautiful memories with a family I hope I will always be a part of.
Yes, gratitude abounds. I am filled with excitement and tremendous joy. Today, life is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined for myself. And it is true, real, steadfast. There is so much love in our lives, I sometimes have to shake it out a bit and say, YES, this is real. Yes, I am finally a part of a family. And this family isn't going anywhere. Their love is here to stay. Something I have never known before.
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