Well, the hurricane has come and gone. We were preparing for the worst, as the Govenor warned us to do, yet we got only a few gusty winds and a mild amount of rain. More rain would have been better. Irene came and went like a lamb.
I live in the state of North Carolina, where Irene made landfall. The eastern part of the state was pounded by the storm, more inland, where we are, it was mild, very mild. Tomorrow it is supposed to be 94 and sunny. More like August again.
What I should have done today was clean. What a perfect time to spend indoors organizing and taking care of things that usually aren't taken care of. I'm not talking about baseboards and blinds, although they could use it too, but just the organization of our bedroom and master bath. We moved into this house only two and half months ago. So as you can imagine, much is still left to be done. We merged. My boyfriend and his two boys and myself moved into together after a year and a half of dating. It has been quite an adjustment. I must say that I love his two sons as if they were my own. I have never married and have been without children. This is all new to me. What do I say? What do I do? How are my parenting skills? One thing for certain is that these children are wonderful! They are honors students, focused, fun, outgoing, funny, determined, and are loaded with a plethora of friends. Sure there have been adjustments, mostly on my part. There is the noise factor. Something I am not used to as a woman who lived alone. There is the making breakfast, dinner, cleaning. Oh, the cleaning. I would love more than anything to be able to afford a maid. Even when I lived alone, I wasn't the best housekeeper. It was ok then. After all, I lived alone. It was my space to do what I wished to with it. Now, I share a beautiful home with three beautiful males. Definitely in the minority. I do struggle with this some times. Wishing I had more help around the house. But, I must admit, I need to, I mean, REALLY need to, work on my house cleaning skills. As a child I was very neat. Now, not so much. As a writer, I find myself living in one area of the house, creating stacks of this and that, but, there is a method to my maddness. I think. At least to me it is. And the boys, they tolerate me so much. But again, today would have been a perfect day to clean mine and Dwayne's bedroom. To really put the long begging organization to it. But what have I done? I have written. What I love to do most. It feels like breathing for me. Cleaning does not. Why not let it go just one more day, then that day turns into the next, and then the next, and well, you get the idea.
I mentioned how lovely our home is. I come from a background of trailers and of barely making it. Dwayne comes from a place of family, love, and comfort. Taking pride in ones home. It never ceases to amaze me the way the Universe works and the opportunities I have to work on my issues that will only make me a more whole, spiritual, loving being. Cleaning is obviously one of them. I can relate it to taking pride not just in my home, but in myself. Taking the time to do these things. How much better I would feel in getting these things done. My spirit would be clearer, more open to receive the gifts of the Universe. Clutter creates chaos. I believe in having clarity of energy. If my space isn't clear, then I'm not either. I am shut off from the Sunlight of the Spirit. I not only recognize this, I so believe this to be true, it's up to me to change it.
What's the first step in change? Awareness. Having the awareness is the genesis of any change. Like Dr. Phil says, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge". I remember this often. And here I am writing. Knowing what I need to change. I need to take the time to love my surroundings, its another way to loving myself. Instead of the 'oh, it'll get done' mentality, I must be proactive and make the move to do the next right thing.
I share all of this with you because I am at this place currently in my life where it all has come full circle and makes sense for me. It is through loving myself first that I am able to love others, my home, my friends, my community. I am ready. I am ready to take this lesson the Universe as brought home clear to me. Coming full circle is a beautiful thing indeed.
So, I leave you tonight, knowing what is in front of me. I'll take time to relax, but I shall be productive, and create a newness of space that is infused with love and all goodness. So what is on the inside will be reflected on the outside. Yes, it is time. Until I write again, I send you the most beautiful of blessings. Be in the Light of All That Is. It's the only place to live from.
All my love,
Sharon Asheton
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